SeoLuv

Malacca Strait

SeoLuv — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:59:41 +0000

Malacca Strait

Busby SEO Challenge

Busby SEO Challenge — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:10:21 +0000

imfreakz rox

Busby SEO Challenge

Free Busby SEO Challenge E-Book

WordPress Theme Submission Land

WordPress Theme Submission — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:31:08 +0000

WordPress Theme Submission Land
Do you know where your WordPress Theme has been ?
Its been to WordPress Theme Submission Land.
Hyderabad: It is 2:57 A.M in the cybr sweatshop on the outskirts of Hyderabad India where WordPress Theme Submission Land Offsite is buzzing with activity.Working in 3 shifts, 24 hours a day out of the back of a squatters area Internet Cafe, Hyderabad IT workers slave away. Working in the sweltering heat with nothing but a 10 inch fan clattering in the corner on a shelf above the router they carefully craft the currency of the Internet, links.
Do a Google search for WordPress Theme and view the PR6 # 1 result in the SERP. The backlinks look like this. Click on one of the links in the .xls and find the backlink to the WordPress Theme site. Aight!?!
Ever since Patricia Müller won Alex King’s WordPress Theme Competition with Connections on March 31, 2005 skyrocketing her vanillamist.com domain to PR8 super stardom, the writing was on the wall. Viral adaptation of the theme generated over 1 million backlinks to her domain. Because of the accidental success of the footer link in Connections and the phenomenal success of the theme, it immediately became clear that a WordPress Theme was a SEO force to be reckoned with.
Are you at a loss for where to go on for your next vacation ? Come to WordPress Theme Submission Land. By day you will luxuriate poolside in the ethnic sensualities of WordPress Theme Submission Land where swarthy Lotus Blossoms fall from the trees. By night you will Party Like A Rock Star at Club WordPress Theme Submission Land where young, ill mannered hyper aggressive, whirling dervish wannabe’s from the forums and well dressed, well mannered Fallen Angels from all corners of the Earth grind until dawn. The Israelis are in da house. Last night, Lady Luck at the WordPress Theme Submission Land Casino Baccarat table. I won this WordPress Theme script on a Gold Plated WordPress Theme Submission Land 8 GB USB drive with an 22 inch 14K neck lanyard. Now I be a Chingo PimpZilla WordPress Theme Killa Sponsored Links Big Balla Iced Up eNuf Submission Holla Bling Dawg. While exiting the Baccarat pit, with my new USB drive around my neck I was approached by a middle aged gentleman in a Brioni suit from Johor Bahru. He offered his services to me to set up the newly won script for me on any site I would like. His demeanor was so smooth I was skeptical at first until he looked me right in the eye with his Marcello Mastroianni moonlamps and told me that he would set it up with 10 exclusive themes for 1 dollar to demonstrate to me what he could do. I of course agreed. He then told me that he would like to meet me poolside the next day at 6 P.M. Before we parted he asked me for a link that I would like to use and I gave him one. We then shook hands, I gave him the dollar and we agreed to meet the following day at the pool. I then retired early to my suite. Need domains ? Concerned about privacy ? Just pick up the phone from the privacy of your room and tell the Front Desk to send up the Domain Concierge to your suite. Within 15 minutes, 24/7 he shows up with his lovely assistant, laptop in hand. With the wireless broadband offered free throughout WordPress Theme Submission Land you will almost instantly have the domains you need to be a WordPress Theme tzar. Will you be needing Wide C Class IP Hosting to accompany your new domains Sir SeoLuv ? The answer is always yes at WordPress Theme Submission Land. As I sync up the robo to the gold USB I wonder why bother with pissy programmers and flaky designers ? Just come to WordPress Theme Submission Land where your every wish is their command. Not only will you be able to expense account it as advertising but you can write if off too. Offshore Banking Account Executives are available by appointment to help you with your Offshore Banking and Accounting needs.
The next afternoon I awaken to total darkness. The blackout drapes at WordPress Theme Submsiison Land are specifically designed to accommodate its nocturnal clientèle. I can not see my hand in front of my face in my suite with the blackouts and curtains closed when it is broad daylight outside at WordPress Theme Submission Land. I easily find the bedside light and soon I am in a complimentary Turkish bathrobe, getting off the elevator to freshen up at the WordPress Theme Submission Land Spa. Directly into the jacuzzi I go. What a view, 102 degrees with dual 3 horse pumps, I’m in. Relaxing over several Davidoff’s and French Press’ I wonder where I will go when I leave WordPress Theme Submission Land tomorrow afternoon. Then I’m up and out and on my way to the WordPress Theme Submission Land Salon. As I get into the Barber chair at the WordPress Theme Submission Land Salon I’m thinking that its 3 o’clock in the afternoon and that I’m already running late. Fortunately the salon at WordPress Theme Submission Land is aware of its clientèle’s valuable time. So while the Barber gives you a razor cut, there are four technicians administering to the manicure and pedicure to save time. In no time I’m reclining getting an herbal facial and a Thai foot massage. I almost fell back to sleep. After that I was off to get a full body Swedish massage and then back in the jacuzzi with more Davidoff’s and French Press’. After a liter of fresh lemonade in the wet steam, a dry sauna and a shower I am poolside over a breakfast of Eggs Benedict. For fak sake its already 5:30 in the afternoon and I am just having breakfast? I feel guilty about that sometimes but not very often and when I do its not for very long. Internet Super Stars and their piccadilios are de rigueur at WordPress Theme Submission Land. Hulu sheit is that VONRAT sitting in the back of Cabana 1 with the east block heat loitering outside in their cheap oversize Hawaiian shirts ? He’s FAT! He looks like he had a rough night. He needs to comb his commie block dyed red hair. Maybe he’s wearing a wig. He looks like some clueless tourist wearing those madras pattern Bermuda shorts and black wing tip street shoes with saggy mid calf black socks. What happened to him ? Its a Luv Zombie I would bet anything. I’ll bet he has made a fortune since he went off the grid last year in Eastern Europe. But why would he be here at WordPress Theme Submission Land ? Hmm.. I wonder. While I finish off breakfast I notice newly minted Gregorio being attended to by his twin Brazilian Lady Boys in Cabana 7 while he recuperates from his recent Manila Vaginaplasty. Rumor has it that some Businessman from Florence offered him a half of a million Euros each for them and he turned him down. Ain’t love grand, poolside at WordPress Theme Submission Land? Finished with breakfast now and taking a sip of coffee I ignore a malicious look from Google Country Consultant Aileen Apolo with the SEO Contest 2008, “Plunging Me Into Disaster” never was SEO World Champion 2007, the high school dropout bata boy, jt pudge n bubbles. As if straight out of The Sheltering Sky they glide by. Just then the well dressed gentleman from Johor Bahru comes up from behind me exactly on time and says hello. I remember reaching out to shake his hand and looking over my shoulder to see who he was with then feeling like I had just been hit by a lightening bolt. Time stood still. The Anastasia of Persia. The mutual attraction was so powerful that we were both blushing for what seemed like an eternity. How embarrassing. The gentleman from Johor Bahru was a complete gentleman about it. The only emotion he showed was a slight wry smile and then a faint wince as he let his eyes go downward because he realized what had just happened. Then it was down to business. Off my neck came the USB as I checked the product. It was flawless. The deal took about 10 minutes. 8 GB of custom ripped WordPress Themes into wide distribution. While Sasha uploads the demo themes to the USB I place 2 quick calls confirming that the money transfers were complete. A little less than 6 figures out and a little more than 7 figures in. I have just confirmed receipt of the funds. And to think I used to get paid by the hour. He puts the call in to the Hyderabad WordPress Theme Submission Land Offsite and its a done deal. They go to work 24/7 from here in until the order is complete. Right then I get a look from VONRAT as he shakes his head in disgust. I swear he can smell money moving. I give him my best FURAT ya crypto freek of nature look back. The deal done, the gentleman from Johor Bahru then excuses himself from the table. Late the next afternoon the landing gear pulls up on VONRAT’s brand new, not new used, new, as in just rolled off the production line new, Dassault Falcon 7x. As the WordPress Theme Submission Land Airport gets smaller and smaller out the window, Sasha hangs onto my arm and I think to myself, WordPress Theme Submission Land, PayPal always welcome. Lorenzos on Yokohama tires Bling Bling. Priceless !

SEOContest2008

SeoLuv — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 06:24:53 +0000

SEO Contest 2008

SeoLuv

SeoLuv — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 00:20:38 +0000

Protected:

SeoLuv — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 08:01:41 +0000

VONRAT

SeoLuv — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 09:14:01 +0000

SeoLuv: Why did you decide to do an interview now after all of these years ?
VonRat: Because I am beyond the statute of limitations and out of the jurisdiction.
SeoLuv: Why did you expatriate?
VonRat: Because I got tired of living with Gloria Stienems strap on cock up my ass.
SeoLuv: How many kids do you have?
VonRat: I don’t know, do you?
SeoLuv: Did you know MC Hammer when you worked at the NSA?
VonRat: You wanna talk about the Customer? Come on Luv.
SeoLuv: Did you do Contract Crypto for the Vatican?
VonRat: Ummm. Long pause.
SeoLuv: K we skip that one.
SeoLuv: Inoculate the body politic ?
VonRat: Yah. Right Phil !
SeoLuv: Tell our viewing audience about your equipment.
VonRat: What equipment?
SeoLuv Like your computer, laptop, cell phone that kind of stuff.
VonRat: I don’t own a computer or a laptop.
SeoLuv: So you’ve kinda come full circle then?
VonRat: What do you mean full circle?
SeoLuv: Well you didnt used to own even a digital watch back in the day right ?
VonRat: You are a piece of fukin work you know that Luv? Thats why da crew Luv you so because you are a real Renaissance man.Yah man you are the genuine article all right. HAH!
SeoLuv: Luv Klownz makin Luv Soundz. So?
VonRat: Fuk it. I was placed under Court Order when I was a Juvenile so what ?I by law could not own even a digital watch until I was 18.Happy now ? You really dig the irony don’t you Luv?
SeoLuv: Holding back laughing.
VonRat: I never have thought about it that way, maybe your right. Ok I admit it. Yah your right I have come full circle.
SeoLuv: Why don’t you even own a laptop?
VonRat: I move around a lot and the brick got heavy so I dumped it. Besides I have found that I don’t really need it. If I want to work I just work it out.
SeoLuv: Where do you keep your files ?
VonRat: What files? If I need something I write it. I write equations on cocktail napkins and then watch them burn in ash trays.
SeoLuv: Cathartic ?
VonRat: 5150
SeoLuv: Is that the place where Mathematics becomes Philosophy ?
VonRat: Dont gimme dis beautiful mind haze Luv.
SeoLuv: SeoLuv shaking his head in disbelief.
VonRat: I’m tellin ya, I don’t need it.
SeoLuv: Not even a cell phone?
VonRat: I roll with sims then cut em in half n toss them off a bridge into the rivers or off a boat into the ocean. No cell.
SeoLuv: How are you gettin over these days.
VonRat: Odd Job
SeoLuv: Bursting out laughing.. Odd Job ? What the fak does that mean?
VonRat: It means I work for odd people sometimes and they pay me. Like you and dis recent sheit of yers. I have to admit, theres never dull moment wit u Luv.
SeoLuv: Coughing spilling coffee choking
VonRat: Don’t fakk with me Luv
SeoLuv: Ok ok … alpha dawg.
VonRat: There is no malice in my Jungle Luv.
SeoLuv: SeoLuv lights a cigarette coughing.
SeoLuv: Ok, of morality. Say a few words about Google.
VonRat: Sure. Google is boring! Few enough?
SeoLuv: Thats it?
VonRat: What else do you want me to say… yawns
SeoLuv: Well I don’t even get one of your infamous predictions with this lame ass interview or nuthin?
VonRat: Yawns again.
SeoLuv: U can recognize a hard working man when you see him can’t yah ?
VonRat: Ok Luv here’s what time it is. VonRat Predicts: SirGay will be convicted in the largest copyright infringement/intellectual property theft case in the History of the World and end up in a place where da bruthas r gonna tell him that they got his robots.txt file hangin so get me a candy bar bitch. Either that or he gets deported.
SeoLuv: Deported? But didn’t he become a naturalized citizen?
VonRat: They will Grand Father him out. It’s happened before.
SeoLuv: And Lavender Larry as you call him ? What’s gonna happen to him?
VonRat: He was born in the US so he will just have to pay up.
SeoLuv: Why do you think this is going to happen?
VonRat: It has nothing at all to do with copyright or intellectual property, it has everything to do with Homeland Security. The copyright case will just be the cover.
SeoLuv: Like your buddy?
VonRat: What the fuk Luv? I met BG one time and all you guys continue to haze me about him being my buddy.
SeoLuv: Well?
VonRat: Similar although it won’t be anti trust this time it will be copyright/intellectual property. They have him (BG) on board now don’t they ?
SeoLuv: MC Hammer ?
VonRat: He will continue to quietly go null to modem because E & da boyz can’t keep him house trained well enough to prevent him from lifting his leg on the California Kings in public.
SeoLuv: If this happens what do you think will happen to the Company?
VonRat: The US is already late to the party of Countries that presently perceive G to be a threat to their National Security. The Company could be Nationalized under the War Powers Act by the New Administration because it has become a “Real and Present Danger to the National Security of the United States of America.”
SeoLuv: Lets move on. How are all of your 21 year old girlfriends black jack ?
VonRat: I took a Chinese Cialis the other day and had a 1 and a 1/2 inch rigid hard on for 9 hours straight. I’m talkin a full shift man. I went into the bathroom and saw that my dick was crackling with veins. No shit. I actually got worried ! I had to take a piss bad and I couldn’t get it down so I just stood there and pissed straight up into the shower stall.
SeoLuv Howling Laughing Von I can’t publish that sheit.
VonRat: Why not? Google Video now has full uncensored XXX
SeoLuv: Really?
VonRat: Yah tis pretty wild watching de ol round eye grind with the Google logo right next to it. eheh
SeoLuv: NO ! Show me. Pause. Moments later. HOLY SHIT ! I’M SHOCKED ! SHOCKED I TELL YOU !
VonRat: Sure u r Luv. Right!
SeoLuv: Whoa ! I swear I have NEVER seen that before.
VonRat: I didn’t know you were such a prude Luv.
SeoLuv: Well but. Isn’t that illegal or something? What if ?
VonRat: Yawns
SeoLuv: I can see you are concerned.
VonRat: I feel your pain.
SeoLuv: Let’s take a break for a moment, this cant be for real.
VonRat: Happy Valentines Day